I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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