i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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