I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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