I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
