im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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