go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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