i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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