We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
