I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
