She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
