East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
