is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
