There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
