just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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