I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
