I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
