his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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