I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
