I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There r osticjed everywhere
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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