Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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