you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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