so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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