I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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