quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
