BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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