woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
