I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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