Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
