is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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