I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
