Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
