Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
