we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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