Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
