who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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