Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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