false alarm. still invincible.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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