So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
