I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
