I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
