I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize