can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize