So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Houston, we have a squirter
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
