dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
