if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
