Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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