you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
