I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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