The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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