don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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