Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
