So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
