Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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