So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
