This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
