I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
