whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Randomize
