i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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