Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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