do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
