this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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