I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
