the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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