is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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