his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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