i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
