The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
