More tranny stories later!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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