making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
