sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
