I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
