how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize