it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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