Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
sex in a hospital.. check
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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