Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
